yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
