I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
How does it feel to date your dad?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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