There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
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