Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
