You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
i think my cat just said my name.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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