They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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