im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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