Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
