do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
