OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
