omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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