I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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