And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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