it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
