I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
