you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I intend to get homeless drunk
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
