hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
