I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She's like a pop up book from hell.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
