Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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