I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i drank out of a bidet.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
