How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
you had me at cake vodka
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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