There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
