hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My bed smells like the plague
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
