True but thats because hes a fetus.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
