I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
