So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
