I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
