I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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