Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
