I'm really into asian looking animals
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
