Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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