I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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