I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
