i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
