Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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