Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
