Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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