well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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