I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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