C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
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