is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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