I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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