If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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