We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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