you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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