What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
