stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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