VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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