True but thats because hes a fetus.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
