We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
