I love black thongs
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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